The Impossible

“Why are you looking for the living among the dead?” (Luke 24:5) the angel asked the women who went to prepare Jesus’s body the day after His crucifiction. A question that summed up the greatest miracle ever seen.

The women – like the disciples – had heard Jesus’ teachings, had seen His miracles. They believed He was who He said He was (even if their version of that – the Messiah – probably didn’t match His).

They still went to the tomb expecting to find a corpse. I mean, they’d seen Him raise the dead before but raising Himself?! That took a whole other level of faith.

On that day their reality was dark.

Empty.

Black.

Every dream, every hope that had been awakened by Jesus shattered.

Their trust in God broken.

Death was the only reality.

I don’t know where you are in your life right now but I am pretty sure that more than one of you reading these words can identify with those women.

You love God. You trust God. You can look back and see the times that He clearly was working in your life. You can recall answered prayers. Lessons learned. Verses memorised. Worship songs sung.

Today though as you look around your life, circumstances and inside yourself, the reality is different. You see loss. Broken dreams. Unfufilled promises. Unanswered prayers. Doubt. Fear. Pain.

Maybe like me you are looking at one or more specific situations that, to be honest, are impossible. You know God invites you to bring all your needs to Him. You have indeed prayed about these situations. But inside you are like the women going to the tomb. You have – if you are brutally honest – no real belief that He can or will actually do what you are asking of Him.

I want you to consider for a moment: is the resolution to that situation REALLY more impossible than raising someone from the dead? Would it be a bigger miracle than the resurrection?

I didn’t think so.

Despite how impossible it is and how hard you are finding it to pray about it, I just want you to hold on to that fact. Sit before Him and acknowledge the impossibility of the situation but then also acknowledge that in the light of the resurrection, NOTHING is impossible for God.

Then leave it with Him.

We don’t need to understand it. It doesn’t matter that our human minds cannot conceive of any way in which that situation can be resolved. We just can’t imagine it so it seems impossible and so that leads us to be unable to believe the situation can be redeemed.

On Easter Sunday though, I remind myself of the impossible resurrection and say to my soul “all things ARE possible and I WILL trust in Him”.

All Things Work Together

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

We all know this verse. We’ve used it to encourage people in the tough times and, hopefully, celebrate with them in the working out/good times. We’ve almost certainly all misquoted it, and almost certainly mis-applied it.

I’ve pondered on this verse for a long time, in connection with wrestling with (what appears to be) unanswered prayers. In fact the last 10 years I would say that has been a focus.  I’d like to show you an example of what this verse looks like in real life, from my life.

I was a confident, somewhat precocious child. No fear of anything. Secure in my parent’s love and already having “met” Daddy God through my Mum’s nighttime prayers by my bedside.

Shortly after starting secondary school (aged 11) I developed a medical condition that meant I was in constant pain, had a limp, couldn’t take part in sports, and for a while had my leg in plaster and had to get state-funded transport to and from school.

These issues led to a lot of negative attention from my peers and seemingly overnight I went from one of the most popular kids to the one everyone loved to hate. I was bullied physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I ran away from school, I planned to commit suicide… basically life was awful.

Through it all, every night, I’d read my Bible, underlining verses that (the index at the front said) were “where to find help when in trouble/fear/distress/sad” etc.  I yelled those verses out. I yelled at God, pleading with Him to help. To take away the pain. To bring me friends. To find someone who would love me. To heal me.

Whilst things began to ease after 3 years of hell, I left school aged 16 with no self-esteem, a lot of self-loathing, and zero trust in anyone who appeared to be friendly.

At college I was relieved to be free from all the people from that stage in my life, and I made a friend! A somewhat similarly “damaged” young lady recognised in me a pain and we connected through our shared issues.  Each one of us could see good in the other and tried to reflect that back, supporting each other through the worst periods of depression.

That young woman introduced me to a friend of hers, he was older by 16 years. 

He was one of a kind. 37 years later I’ve still not met anyone even remotely like him.

This man offered friendship unconditionally and whole heartedly to everyone. Best of all he had a zany sense of humour that totally clicked with me, and a friendship was born.

He came to see me at my lowest and highest. He’d talked me out of self harm, and picked the pieces up the times I went ahead regardless.  He never judged me. He struggled to understand me, being wired very differently, but he was determined to learn and to support.  One day, after we’d discussed how I believed everyone I cared for would always let me down and/or leave me, he asked “so do you think I will to?”.  The honest answer was of course yes.

Hurt to the core, I didn’t see him for days as he sought to process what I’d said. Eventually he realised it wasn’t a reflection on him and his friendship, but simply on the “coloured glasses” I wore of past hurt that changed what I saw around me.

He came back and carried on being my friend.

Truthfully, in a thousand small ways and many very significant ways, over the course of 5 years, he saved my life.  It would take a small book to write them down. He was even instrumental in my connecting with the man who would become my husband.

Life moved on, and now the role of supporter, protector and helper went to my husband.  I stayed in touch with my friend, however that was mainly through his efforts. He’s the friend that always makes the effort to call or visit, always remembers birthdays, for many friends who do not do that in return.  He invests in people and never seeks to collect, or judge.

Fast forward to his retirement.

After all his life looking after/considering other people before himself, he found himself in the situation where his retirement would also equal homelessness due to the lack of finance to afford a place.

My house has a small, one bedroom annexe separate to the main house.  When we bought the house, we intended it to be the half-way house for our sons, moving out there to learn semi-independent living before they left home.

The two eldest had already “passed through” that stage.  We spoke to the other two first, then, when he was visiting one weekend, spoke to my friend. We told him he could live in the flat, rent free, for as long as he needed it or we moved house, whichever came first.

He was stunned, and overwhelmed.

As my husband pointed out, we wouldn’t have our marriage, our children, and therefore this house, if he hadn’t come into my life when he did and if he hadn’t have been the friend that he was. In our minds, this was a way that we could pay him back for what he had done.

Just think about all the threads in that story.  Think about my life, and my friend’s life.  Think about the overlap, and all the permutations of that overlap.

Think about the timeline – from 12-year-old me screaming at God, all the way through to the joy I found in my marriage and family, and the parallel timeline of my friend coming into my life all the way up to being able to provide him with a home.

Not just in my life, but in his life, God worked.  He worked those two timelines together, worked out all those permutations, answered my teenage prayers and answered the retirement prayers of my friend.  Completely connected and dependent upon each other’s involvement, to work all those things to our good – and to His Glory.

Every time I think back over our story, I am humbled.  It reminds me to keep praying and to keep believing.  It reminds me that God is not in our timeframe – which can make Him seem slow to us – but also of the fact that it this very “outside time” (omnipresent) that allows Him work all those things out.  It reminds me that I am not the only one He is doing this for, and that it is a LOT of working out!

Humbleness leads to thankfulness, and through them both, wisdom that in turns brings faith.

Being An Oak

There have been several times in my life where, in order to bring encouragement, I’ve been given a word from a fellow Christian declaring that God has made me an “oak of righteousness”. The phrase comes from Isaiah 61:3, though actually many translations refer to trees rather than specifically oaks of righteousness. The Message puts it beautifully in its context:

61 ^1-7 The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me
    because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
    heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
    pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
    a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies—
    and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
    give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
    a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them “Oaks of Righteousness”
    planted by God to display his glory.
They’ll rebuild the old ruins,
    raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They’ll start over on the ruined cities,
    take the rubble left behind and make it new.
You’ll hire outsiders to herd your flocks
    and foreigners to work your fields,
But you’ll have the title “Priests of God,”
    honored as ministers of our God.
You’ll feast on the bounty of nations,
    you’ll bask in their glory.
Because you got a double dose of trouble
    and more than your share of contempt,
Your inheritance in the land will be doubled
    and your joy go on forever.

Isiah 61:1-7 The Message

Earlier this week I had the cause to explain the word “deciduous” to my youngest son. A deciduous tree is one that loses its leaves every year. Unlike an evergreen tree that keeps its leaves all year around, through all the seasons, a deciduous tree’s leaves change colour in the autumn as they die and fall to the ground. The word originates from the Latin deciduus, from decidere which means to “fall down or off”.

During worship this morning at church I suddenly had a clear picture in my mind of an oak tree, standing in the midst of a field.

“An oak tree is deciduous” I heard. I must admit it took a moment for me to realise/believe/understand that it was Holy Spirit who was speaking.

“You are not called to be an evergreen”

With my eyes closed I saw the oak tree as it went through the changing seasons.

It began in the summer: the tree was green, glorious, vibrant, impressive.

Then the season began to change. The leaves changed colour, becoming a riot of golds, yellows and browns. I was reminded that autumn is my favourite season for that very reason.

“The leaves change colour as they die and fade” I heard. That caught me!

Then I saw the deep swathes of leaves becoming home for small creatures and insects. I saw the acorns dropping, becoming food to be stored for squirrels.

“Just like those leaves the dreams, plans, relationships and moments in your life that you feel have withered and died, which you mourn, are never wasted if you allow Father to use them to seed in to others. The pain you feel helps you to be able to comfort others, to understand. You have no idea just what a bountiful harvest comes from those things that ‘fall away’.

I then saw the tree, totally bare. The branches became covered in snow. It was stark. It was beautiful.

As the season again changed, the snow melted and I saw buds form.

New life. New hope. New beginnings.

“You do not need to feel a failure, because you believe as a Christian your life should be like an evergreen tree, unchanging despite the season. As your life moves through seasons, it is not your ‘leaves’ staying put that demonstrates My Truth, Grace and Mercy in your life. My unchanging Nature, your unfailing faith and trust in Me are the branches that stand out clear even in the depths of the winters of your life – in fact sometimes that is when people can ‘see’ Me in you the clearest.” I heard Father say.

“As long as you remain in Me, your true source, not only will you continue to grow, stand tall, be a constant presence for your family and in your community, and draw people to Me, but I promise you that I am using everything to your good and to My Glory”.

Maybe you are like me and need to hear that truth today.

Embrace your beauty as a deciduous oak of righteousness.

Please watch the video below as it is pretty darn close to the vision I saw!

One Small Step for Mankind..

Some things in life seem too big to change. Climate change is one of those.

Its taken humanity a long time to get to the place we are now, quite a while to realise the harm our activity has been causing the plant – and to be honest we don’t even agree on that – and no doubt will take a while for us to work out properly what to do about it and even longer to actually start to noticeably turn the juggernaut around.

We are urged however to accept that our individual choices and actions can make a difference. Just as arriving at this place was a culmination of a lot of actions, bringing about change will take the same individual team effort (as it were!)

Choosing to avoid plastic wherever possible, reusing and recycling, reducing energy consumption, all these little changes add up. “You can’t fix the climate on your own, but you can become part of a generation that does. Lasting and dramatic change comes from countless little shifts throughout society.” (Student Conservation Association)

That makes sense, right? You get that?

Cool.

So why, if you are a Christian, do you find it so hard to believe that about prayer?

Covid. International politics. Wars. Injustice. Climate change. Too big to pray about? I mean, what can YOUR prayer ACTUALLY change? Maybe you find it slightly ridiculous to do so, as if it makes it seem you think God will say “ah, finally, I was waiting for him to ask Me, now I will act”?!

What about if you and your household pray? What about if your home group all agrees to pray on the same subject tonight? What about if your church pauses this Sunday and prays for 10 minutes on a topic? What if a Christian organisation or denomination calls its people to pray at the same time each day on a topic? What about a national day of prayer? International?

If you don’t believe one person’s prayer will change things, how about 10? 100? A million? Billions? Not because we need to club together to persuade God to act but because we are in a battle (Ephesians 6:12), waging war against an enemy who comes to rob, steal and destroy (John 10:10). Our unity in prayer, in our stand against the enemy’s tactics, brings heaven to earth, makes things become more on earth, as it is in heaven.

I realised today that if I swap my plastic bag for a paper one, believing I’m part of the solution not the problem, but don’t believe my prayer matters, I am a fool and a hypocrite.

To pray is one small step for me, but part of a bigger move for my neighbourhood, my country, this earth.

By the way, I do actually believe that just one prayer – especially a persistent one – can change things both big and small. I am however aware that we often justify our lack of prayer over big issues because we don’t really believe that OUR particular prayer matters.

One Drip at a Time

I’m sure you have your own way of remembering the difference but for me, I remember stalagmites as the ones that grow from the ground up because they “might” reach the top one day, and stalactites as the ones as the ones that grow from the ceiling down because they hold “tight” to the ceiling.

Either way, they are incredible aren’t they? Especially the limestone ones – the type we all think about – that are formed over hundreds or thousands of years one drip at a time.

So, I hear you thinking, what has this got to do with “spiritual things”?  Well, I was reminded of this slow but impressive growth today as I was pondering on how long it took me to grab hold of certain truths.

When my husband and I first met 26 years ago I was, frankly, a mess.  I’ve been a Christian all my life, but very much “self taught”.  I had only spent probably 3 years of my life attending church, with the rest of my knowledge of God coming first through my Mum’s example and sharing of her own faith, and then through my own reading of the Bible.

Well, it wasn’t so much ready as clinging…. The first Bible I ever had was a Gideons International.  At the front is the “where to find help when” section.  Aged 11, as my world crashed around me and I went from being the popular, confident girl everyone wanted to be with to the disabled, fat, ugly, victim of all the bullying, the girl everyone alternatively mocked and shunned (long story maybe for another day) I turned to those pages to “find help”.  I underlined in red biro, scoring through the thin pages, the sections for things like feeling alone, depressed, discouraged, suicidal, or needing peace.  I read those Scriptures over and over again.

It wasn’t exactly that they helped. I mean, the situation didn’t change and I didn’t feel any better.  But I read them to remind myself, because despite it all, I believed them.  I knew they were true. I knew God didn’t lie.  I knew therefore that my reality was the thing at odds with His Word, not the other way around.

I had no maturity, no teaching, no revelation to correctly fathom this out and I’ll admit my perspective was more one of “that’s true for everyone else” rather than believing that things were going to get better for me.  But still, I believed the Words and I reread them every single day.

Through my late teens and early twenties I stopped reading Scripture because I couldn’t handle the Truths in them, that were firmly at odds with the choices I was making.

My mental health was in pieces.

Back to meeting my husband.  He was a new Christian but he had the blessing of falling instantly in love with the Word and, being the way he is, determining to read it and understand it.  He spent hours every day studying, locked away with the Word (he was a youth pastor and evangelist when I met him).  Through his eyes I began to understand something of the richness of the Word, the power it contained, and to realise there was more to it than I had found or understood in those often-read verses.

Over the years of our marriage he taught me, showed me, encouraged me.  I began to read Scripture differently, looking for revelation.  In all this time I was battling several major mental health issues and again, being honest, although I was hearing the Word (as my husband continually declared God’s favour over me, declaring who I am in Christ, declaring God’s Heart for me) and even reading it for myself, I can’t say it exactly changed me.

Not at the time. Not noticeably.

Here’s the thing though (and the connection to the start of this post!): it all built up.

Drip by drip. Word by word. Declaration by declaration. Truth by Truth.

It all added up.

Without truly noticing, without really being aware of it or measuring it, one day I looked back at my life and thought “Hey! Where did that come from?!”  My faith had been built up and now reached the level of Heaven’s Truth.  I now believed, knew, understood, grasped, the depths and breadths and heights of God’s Love for me.  I now could see how He loved me.  I now could see that I WAS worth it. I was precious.  I was loved.  I was fearfully and wonderfully made.

He has plans and purposes for me.  He sent His Son for me.  He values me THAT MUCH!

All those Scriptures were true.  He never left me.  He has never forsaken me.  He didn’t leave me in that mess.  He did lead me out.  He did work it all together for my good.

The analogy works the other way too: that drip by drip God’s Love for me, His Truths, His Words, built up until heaven’s Truth came down and touched the my reality, the dust on the floor where I lay.

Either way, I can see looking back how vital every reading of the Word and every hearing of it’s Truth mattered.  Every verse I read, every verse my husband read out over me, it affected my spirit, and my soul.

It brings me to this: if you are feeling lack – whether faith, self belief, love, esteem, health, money, or any other area of need – keep reading the Word.  Find a verse every day. Use a plan.

It doesn’t matter that at this point in time you read it and think “so what”.  It doesn’t matter if you read it and think “that’s all very well but”.  It doesn’t matter if you read it and don’t fully understand, you don’t get goosebumps or hear a heavenly choir sing.

Read it.

Play those worship songs.  Turn up to the service.  Go to the prayer lock ins.

Again, it doesn’t matter if at the moment when you go to a prayer meeting you just sit and listen to other people pray.  It doesn’t matter that you don’t believe your prayers go further than the ceiling.  Sit in the room and listen to the prayers.  Hear the petitions.  Hear the praise.  Hear the faith.

Go along and sit at the side of the Healing Room sessions.  Turn up for the special speaker.  Download those podcasts.  Watch Bethel teachings on YouTube.

Allow the Truth to drip in to your life.  To drip on to you.

If nothing else is working for you, nothing seems to be getting through and you are just hanging in there, sitting in that damn boat in the middle of a storm feeling that, whilst you KNOW Jesus is there with you, you really REALLY wish He’d “wake up” and tell the storm to stop because its getting harder and harder to believe what He said that you would make it to the other side….  Just let the Word drip.

I promise you it is having an effect.  I promise you the gap between you and heaven is getting smaller.  I promise you that you will one day see, and know, and feel, and truly grasp just who you are, and Who He is, and it WILL make a difference.

It is all a matter of perspective…

Jesus is dead.

The crowd look at His lifeless body on the cross.

Depending on how closely they followed Him – if they followed Him – or how well they thought they knew Him, they were thinking a variety of things:

“I thought he said he was the Son of God?!”

“So much for being a god…”

“Well I could have seen THAT coming!”

“There goes another one..”

“But… I BELIEVED him! I thought he was telling the truth?!”

“How did this happen?”

“What’s going on?!!”

“Why did this have to happen?”

“So what happens now?”

” But.. He was so convincing!!!”

“I don’t understand…”

“I don’t understand… what about those miracles? What about all the things we saw? How do you explain all that if he wasn’t who he said he was? Yet, if he WAS God… why is he now dead on that cross?”

“Its all over.”

“If he was fake, there really is no hope for us…”

The disciples and followers didn’t understand.  Jesus tried to warn them. Three times He told them He would die, but that He would be resurrected (Mark 8: 31, Mark 9:30-31, Mark 10:33-34).  And yet, on Friday, the world is a bleak place.  Hope has died and even those who remember what he said, don’t believe what he said.

Perspective changes everything.

Faced with the facts – he is dead – and standing in front of his body, on Friday, they have no hope.

The enemy always likes it when we lose hope.  When we focus on the past, on  unmet expectations, on loss and confusion.  He encourages us to feel sad, bitter, angry, hurt, and rejected.

When the unthinkable happens, when you lose that job, that house, that relationship, that loved one…  When promises fail to materialise and expectations aren’t met…

When you were SO SURE that you were right, that it was right and yet…

When you KNEW but then suddenly…

The enemy laughs at you.  He jeers at God. “Where is your God now then?! Why hasn’t he saved you?  Why hasn’t he helped you?  So much for being all knowing and all powerful!”

 

What a different picture on Sunday!  A total and utter reversal of the situation.  The opposite emotions.

HE IS ALIVE!  HE HAS RISEN – JUST AS HE SAID HE WOULD!!!!

The disciples can’t quite believe it but, faced with the facts, standing in front of His LIVING body, on Sunday, hope burst out. Faith rises.  He is ALIVE and so is their hope.

As Christians living after the day of resurrection, it is easy to judge the disciples and His followers.  It is easy to read the Scriptures and say “but they should have known”. It is easy to think that, after all the miracles they had seen, and all that He had taught them, they should have stood firm and believed and, instead of losing hope, waited expectantly – excitedly.

Ask yourself a question and, if you can bare it, answer it truthfully:

Are you any different?

Do you have any testimony of how God has helped you?  Brought you through a crisis? Healed you in some way?  However big or small, have you seen the goodness of God at any point in your life?  What about those around you?  Have you heard the testimonies of others?  Have you read books filled with stories of the miraculous?

Have you listened to sermons?  Downloaded that podcast?  Watched that Bethel live stream?

Have you read your Bible?

When crisis comes, when you are hurt, confused, terrified… do you wait expectantly and excitedly for the day of resurrection?  Or do you stand there and gaze at your “disaster” and think to yourself “but I thought He said it was going to be ok? That I was blessed?  Healed? Whole?”

I don’t know about you but for myself, I more often than not stand in the sandals of the disciples on a Friday rather than Sunday.  My perspective is that of the day of failure, not the day of restoration.

Scripture promises us restoration and teaches us to hope.  Faith is the substance of things unseen.  Faith is Sunday when it is only Friday.

Do you have faith today?

 

 

The Pain of Stretching

As I snatched ten minutes quiet this morning in my favourite spot, I was thinking about a conflict between what I’ve been seeking from God, and what I’m willing to accept from God.

On the one hand, for over a year now I’ve been asking God daily to take me deeper, to reveal to me who He created me to be, to guide me into my destiny, His Plan and Purpose for my life, to fulfill my hopes and dreams.

On the other hand I’m well aware that I don’t even have the courage to pray a prayer each morning that says “OK who do you want me to talk to today?” or to ask “what opportunities do you want me to take?” because I know if I pray those sorts of prayers, God will actually answer them and provide such an opportunity.

It has taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise those two attitudes are directly in opposition to each other..

As I thought this through I felt God ask “what are you afraid of?”

The answer of course is failure.

God’s response was “Don’t you think that I know you?”

I didn’t have a response to that.

Instead (slightly petulantly) I thought “but the thing is, stretching is painful!”

Immediately I thought of childbirth.  You know, if you genuinely really understood in advance, as a woman, exactly how much it was going to hurt (especially a natural childbirth), really could understand, you would be much less likely to chose to go through it!  Because stretching hurts!

Even as I thought that, I heard God’s response “So why, having gone through that once, did you chose to go through it again then? Knowing the second time how much it ‘really’ hurt?”

Good question! Why does any woman have a second child?!  I guess because although you know it is going to hurt you now know you survived it once, the pain ends (eventually!) and you now know the reward is worth it.

At which point there was a sense of God saying “Uhuh. I’ll wait for you to catch up and realise what you’ve just said…”

The stretching may hurt, but you survive, and not only survive but find the rewards are great.  You  realize that actually the stretching and that hurt wasn’t as bad – or rather it wasn’t as significant as you thought it would be in the grand scheme of things.

The pain of childbirth, viewed now as a mother of four (the oldest of whom is 22), isn’t any less.  The pain of those births hasn’t diminished – they’re still the worst thing I’ve ever been through – however it doesn’t seem as important afterwards.  It wasn’t a barrier to doing it again.  From the perspective of having seen the rewards, the fruit, the pain doesn’t seem to be as much of an issue as it may be felt at the time.

I felt God reflecting that back to me, over my fears of being stretched in order to be who He calls me to be, who He made me to be, over stepping out in faith, leaning in to Him.  A fear that stopped me praying dangerous prayers because I know the answers may “hurt”.

So this is where I am.  Realising the truth that even if stepping out and praying those prayers may mean I get “hurt” that “pain” will not, in the grand scheme of things, matter. He promises me only good.  He promises that the rewards will be greater and the fruit sweeter than any discomfort I experience as I allow Him to stretch me.

Just for the sake of keeping it real, I still haven’t prayed a truly dangerous prayer yet. But it won’t be long…

Heaven’s Continuous Song

This weekend saw one of the twice-yearly gatherings of those in the wider leadership of our church, sharing food, fellowship, worship and learning, renewing our collective vision and our individual and corporate commitment to serve the part of the Body which we call home.

Even before the first strum of his guitar, the worship leader could sense – and drew our attention to – the tangible presence of God that was evident in the building.

We had come expectant – and God got there ahead of us!

The teaching, the prayer and the commitment that came out of that weekend meant that we entered church on Sunday with our faith levels high and doubt turned down.

Again, God was there ahead of us.

The corporate worship at the beginning of the service just exploded. It was indescribable.

One of the songs that we sung was “Praises (Be Lifted High)” by Bethel – which we had also sung the day before.  On both days whilst we were singing it was one of those miraculous times where there were more voices than the number of people present, as we were privileged to hear the sound of the angels joining in.  This morning it was the same.  The strength of the singing rose, the clarity of the words increased, the whole tenor and tone of the voices changed.

We moved on to “King of My Heart” (by John Mark McMillan) and it continued.

It was truly breathtaking.

As my spirit soared in response, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me, explaining why it was happening.

When we lose ourselves fully, utterly, in abandonment, beyond our “understanding”, letting our spirit move freely in unison with His, we will always, always feel the most alive, the most free, the most US that we will ever feel.

Because we are His. We are made in the image of God.  We are His creation.  Our very DNA is imprinted with who He is.  Good. Worthy. Holy. Unchanging. Deserving of our praise. Always.

Nothing will ever make you feel as whole or as complete like that moment of true worship, being so much more than a song but an attitude, an expression, a declaration.

Furthermore, in that moment of worship not only are we in true union with our Creator, but we also join with the heavenly hosts.

Revelation teaches us that the angels worship Him day and night.  They were created for that purpose. Day and night they are lifting His Name higher than any other name.  Day and night they are declaring Who He Is.

When we are do the same, we join in with heaven’s continuous song.  If you truly listen with your spiritual “ears” you will hear your voice join in with those of the heavenly hosts.

During Saturday’s teaching, Neil Young (from Causeway Coast Vineyard, Coleraine) had taught us how understanding our IDENTITY leads into understanding our AUTHORITY which in turn brings CLARITY.  Today we moved into a deeper revelation of His Identity that led our hearts and spirits to respond in delight, as we moved into a fuller revelation of our own identity – as children of the living God.

I am so excited and so expectant to see how that revelation moves the church, moves me, into a greater understanding of our authority, and I am sure I cannot even begin to imagine where that will lead us in terms of clarity of purpose and calling.

There was a Word that I received for someone else during Saturday which, whilst it wasn’t given for me, has certainly blessed me and challenged me:

The walls of Jericho came down with the blowing of trumpets and the raising of voices – IN UNISON.  When we are united in purpose, in word and in deed, then strongholds will come down.

That is what God is asking of us, and it is going to be an exhilarating – if bumpy – journey as we pursue that.

Relax… You are in safe Hands

A child grows in the womb, wrapped, enclosed, touched and held on all sides in that snug place. At the moment of birth – wow is it any wonder they cry! Torn from that place and thrust into space – like free falling almost – a sudden sense of nothingness all around, released, uncovered..

After prods and touches, random movements, the baby feels itself tightly wrapped again as it is swaddled and then – marvelous moment! The baby is placed into arms that encircle it, and there is the voice, the heartbeat, that it has known from the very first moment of conciseness, held, safe, secure…

“I am humbled and quieted in your presence.

Like a contented child that rests on its mother’s lap,

I’m your resting child, and my soul is content in you.”

( Psalm 131: 2 The Passion Translation)

When  the day is long, the circumstances tough, the pain great, the fear overwhelming, read that Scripture, ponder the image, and let it speak to your soul.

“So then, my soul, why would you be depressed?
Why would you sink into despair?
Just keep hoping and waiting on God, your Savior.
For no matter what, I will still sing with praise,
For living before his face is my saving grace!”

(Psalm 42:5 The Passion Translation)

Renew your mind, rob the enemy of his plan to harm you, and CHOSE to focus on the goodness of God, and rest in the knowledge that you are in safe Hands.

“The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath you are the everlasting arms”

(Deut 33: 27 MEV)

Hope Does Not Disappoint

“Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!” (Romans 5:3-5 TPT)

“Not only so, but we also boast in tribulation, knowing that tribulation produces patience, patience produces character, and character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5 MEV)

And….. Breathe…

I’m sitting here. Again. Finally. In my spot. Quiet. Alone before God.

I’m cold. I’m tired. I didn’t sleep longer than an hour at a time last time. I am battling the symptoms of a headcold and a week long sinus related headache.  The beautiful view is not here to soothe me: it’s raining. Did I mention it is cold?

But I don’t care. I’m here.

It has been a struggle lately. I’m just being honest. With a kind of horror I have seen the inevitable vicious circle develop where I am too busy to get out for my daily quiet time, too stressed, always too tired to get up early, too easy to make excuses, but thereby getting spiritually and mentally weaker without that space – which in turn leads to more stress and tiredness.

If the batteries in a child’s toy are running low, and the toy getting slower and slower, it is of no use to you that they are rechargable batteries if you don’t take them out and charge them up! It has been like that. A gradual inevitable slowing down until finally, here today, I’m plugged back in.

I don’t know how I am going to get back to a daily visit here but I know I have to try.

So what has all this got to do with the Scripture above? A Scripture that I actually put down as a draft post just days before it all went south, just before (it seemed) life, the universe and everything conspired against me? (Perhaps I should have recognised it for the warning it maybe was!)

This weekend, and coming week, we are blessed at our church to be hosting Pete Lyne who is part of the story of our church, a faithful friend to the eldership, a guide and inspiration to the body here, and a faithful servant of the Lord for fifty plus years. Yesterday evening at our “Kingdom Come” service, we all pressed in to seek God’s Word over our lives, with Peter prophesying over every individual, and with others in the church gifted, or learning to hear from God through prophecy, also ministering.

I was blessed by two Words. The first reminded me of two things God had previously told me over twenty years ago. He said that my experiences have built up an armour, built strength, spiritual protection. That instead of hardening my heart, my trials and tribulations had soften my heart each time, and that state of being soft hearted towards God and people, whilst secure in my “armour”, was meant to be. His plan, or rather His outcome (as He doesn’t bring the trials, just works things out to His glory and our good).

It reminded me of a Word from a dear friend when I was a teenager, and a standard bearer for the Royal British Legion. He said that I was called to be a standard bearer for God. The standard always marked the place of the King in battle and was the rallying point for the troops – and a target for the enemy. He drew me the most beautiful picture of myself, in full armour, on horseback and carrying the standard of Christ.

The Word I received last night also noted that I chose to put myself in difficult positions “for God” and that this was to continue. In fact the person said there were going to be new, tougher situations!

After sharing the Word with me, the person then prayed for me (I definitely needed it after that!) and one of their main prayer points was that God would make and protect a place for me, somewhere I could come in peace and safety, somewhere to withdraw and be with Him.

So here I am. I can take a hint! This place is special, sacred, set apart, God planned, needed. Without making it in to a religious action that obsesses over times and timing, I see I MUST withdraw regularly to this place.

Having been reminded (just before it all got too much) that I am gifted with discernment, words of knowledge, prophecy and mercy, and gifted so because I am called into a specific position of spiritual warfare, and now having God remind me, encourage me (and frankly shake me!), I know I need to make this place a priority in order to work out my calling faithfully.

Back to the Scripture therefore.  C H Spurgeon once wrote “Blessed be any wind that blows us into the port of our Saviour’s love!” I agree! As I sit here and can just make out the ships sheltering, moored, off the coast as they brace for the forecast gales, as I meditate on all God has spoken to me in the past 24 hours, I can only chose to rejoice in past and coming tribulations, with “joyful confidence” knowing that this Hope does not disappoint.

NB: It occurs to me that I should differentiate between the sort of trials and tribulations that are to do with suffering for Christ (ridicule, opposition, persecution etc) and what we tend to think of as trials ie having a bad day/hard time.  Scripture of course refers to the former as the sort that we are to “rejoice” in and NOT the latter.  I have chosen to take strength from this particular Scripture for BOTH kinds, as these past 6 weeks or so have been full of both and I have also been aware that some of the latter kind have actually been rather overtly from the hand of the enemy and not just the standard, every day, “living in a fallen world” kind of troubles.  For an excellent teaching on this point, I encourage you to read Roarke’s post over on The Father’s Heart.