The Impossible

“Why are you looking for the living among the dead?” (Luke 24:5) the angel asked the women who went to prepare Jesus’s body the day after His crucifiction. A question that summed up the greatest miracle ever seen.

The women – like the disciples – had heard Jesus’ teachings, had seen His miracles. They believed He was who He said He was (even if their version of that – the Messiah – probably didn’t match His).

They still went to the tomb expecting to find a corpse. I mean, they’d seen Him raise the dead before but raising Himself?! That took a whole other level of faith.

On that day their reality was dark.

Empty.

Black.

Every dream, every hope that had been awakened by Jesus shattered.

Their trust in God broken.

Death was the only reality.

I don’t know where you are in your life right now but I am pretty sure that more than one of you reading these words can identify with those women.

You love God. You trust God. You can look back and see the times that He clearly was working in your life. You can recall answered prayers. Lessons learned. Verses memorised. Worship songs sung.

Today though as you look around your life, circumstances and inside yourself, the reality is different. You see loss. Broken dreams. Unfufilled promises. Unanswered prayers. Doubt. Fear. Pain.

Maybe like me you are looking at one or more specific situations that, to be honest, are impossible. You know God invites you to bring all your needs to Him. You have indeed prayed about these situations. But inside you are like the women going to the tomb. You have – if you are brutally honest – no real belief that He can or will actually do what you are asking of Him.

I want you to consider for a moment: is the resolution to that situation REALLY more impossible than raising someone from the dead? Would it be a bigger miracle than the resurrection?

I didn’t think so.

Despite how impossible it is and how hard you are finding it to pray about it, I just want you to hold on to that fact. Sit before Him and acknowledge the impossibility of the situation but then also acknowledge that in the light of the resurrection, NOTHING is impossible for God.

Then leave it with Him.

We don’t need to understand it. It doesn’t matter that our human minds cannot conceive of any way in which that situation can be resolved. We just can’t imagine it so it seems impossible and so that leads us to be unable to believe the situation can be redeemed.

On Easter Sunday though, I remind myself of the impossible resurrection and say to my soul “all things ARE possible and I WILL trust in Him”.

Directions

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 NKJV

Do you play golf? Even if you don’t, I’m pretty sure you have an idea how it works.

Flags mark the position of the hole that you are aiming for. On a large course, you may not be able to see the flag from the starting position. You will, however, have some sort of a map/plan of the course or you may have spoken to other golfers and you will know where you need to position yourself on that first shot, in order to come in to sight of that flag.

You are aiming for that flag. You move in the right direction, keeping its location fixed in your mind – until it is in your sight – and plan your moves accordingly.

When you are close enough to the hole for the finishing shot, they take the flag out. Leaving it there would get in the way – the ball could hit it – so it is removed. Without the flag you must rely on what you know/have seen to that point and keep your aim set.

What has this got to do with that Proverb?

My husband and I have been moving in a direction provided by God. We knew where He was directing us and, even when we couldn’t see that end point, we kept moving in the “right” direction based on what He had told us before, what Scripture (the “map”) said and what others around us had said.

Then suddenly things seemed to change. The point we were aiming for disappeared! We were left feeling quite confused and, understandably, questioning God as to whether we’d misheard, taken a wrong turn, or frankly just coming before Him saying ?????!!

That’s when I got the picture of the golf course. Aiming for the flag.

It felt as if God was saying the reason why our goal seemed to have disappeared was not because we were wrong but because we were close now. The encouragement was to keep focusing on what we knew to be true, to keep heading in that direction, and not doubting.

I’m sharing that with you today believing there are many among you who need to hear this from God today. You need to trust Him, trust His Word, trust what He has said to you in the past, and not “lean on your own understanding”. Keep focusing on where the “flag” was even if it seems obscured to you now.

Keep acknowledging Him, His Wisdom and Grace, as you move forward and He WILL direct your path, He WILL lead you safely, and you WILL reach the destination He has planned for you.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message

All Things Work Together

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

We all know this verse. We’ve used it to encourage people in the tough times and, hopefully, celebrate with them in the working out/good times. We’ve almost certainly all misquoted it, and almost certainly mis-applied it.

I’ve pondered on this verse for a long time, in connection with wrestling with (what appears to be) unanswered prayers. In fact the last 10 years I would say that has been a focus.  I’d like to show you an example of what this verse looks like in real life, from my life.

I was a confident, somewhat precocious child. No fear of anything. Secure in my parent’s love and already having “met” Daddy God through my Mum’s nighttime prayers by my bedside.

Shortly after starting secondary school (aged 11) I developed a medical condition that meant I was in constant pain, had a limp, couldn’t take part in sports, and for a while had my leg in plaster and had to get state-funded transport to and from school.

These issues led to a lot of negative attention from my peers and seemingly overnight I went from one of the most popular kids to the one everyone loved to hate. I was bullied physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I ran away from school, I planned to commit suicide… basically life was awful.

Through it all, every night, I’d read my Bible, underlining verses that (the index at the front said) were “where to find help when in trouble/fear/distress/sad” etc.  I yelled those verses out. I yelled at God, pleading with Him to help. To take away the pain. To bring me friends. To find someone who would love me. To heal me.

Whilst things began to ease after 3 years of hell, I left school aged 16 with no self-esteem, a lot of self-loathing, and zero trust in anyone who appeared to be friendly.

At college I was relieved to be free from all the people from that stage in my life, and I made a friend! A somewhat similarly “damaged” young lady recognised in me a pain and we connected through our shared issues.  Each one of us could see good in the other and tried to reflect that back, supporting each other through the worst periods of depression.

That young woman introduced me to a friend of hers, he was older by 16 years. 

He was one of a kind. 37 years later I’ve still not met anyone even remotely like him.

This man offered friendship unconditionally and whole heartedly to everyone. Best of all he had a zany sense of humour that totally clicked with me, and a friendship was born.

He came to see me at my lowest and highest. He’d talked me out of self harm, and picked the pieces up the times I went ahead regardless.  He never judged me. He struggled to understand me, being wired very differently, but he was determined to learn and to support.  One day, after we’d discussed how I believed everyone I cared for would always let me down and/or leave me, he asked “so do you think I will to?”.  The honest answer was of course yes.

Hurt to the core, I didn’t see him for days as he sought to process what I’d said. Eventually he realised it wasn’t a reflection on him and his friendship, but simply on the “coloured glasses” I wore of past hurt that changed what I saw around me.

He came back and carried on being my friend.

Truthfully, in a thousand small ways and many very significant ways, over the course of 5 years, he saved my life.  It would take a small book to write them down. He was even instrumental in my connecting with the man who would become my husband.

Life moved on, and now the role of supporter, protector and helper went to my husband.  I stayed in touch with my friend, however that was mainly through his efforts. He’s the friend that always makes the effort to call or visit, always remembers birthdays, for many friends who do not do that in return.  He invests in people and never seeks to collect, or judge.

Fast forward to his retirement.

After all his life looking after/considering other people before himself, he found himself in the situation where his retirement would also equal homelessness due to the lack of finance to afford a place.

My house has a small, one bedroom annexe separate to the main house.  When we bought the house, we intended it to be the half-way house for our sons, moving out there to learn semi-independent living before they left home.

The two eldest had already “passed through” that stage.  We spoke to the other two first, then, when he was visiting one weekend, spoke to my friend. We told him he could live in the flat, rent free, for as long as he needed it or we moved house, whichever came first.

He was stunned, and overwhelmed.

As my husband pointed out, we wouldn’t have our marriage, our children, and therefore this house, if he hadn’t come into my life when he did and if he hadn’t have been the friend that he was. In our minds, this was a way that we could pay him back for what he had done.

Just think about all the threads in that story.  Think about my life, and my friend’s life.  Think about the overlap, and all the permutations of that overlap.

Think about the timeline – from 12-year-old me screaming at God, all the way through to the joy I found in my marriage and family, and the parallel timeline of my friend coming into my life all the way up to being able to provide him with a home.

Not just in my life, but in his life, God worked.  He worked those two timelines together, worked out all those permutations, answered my teenage prayers and answered the retirement prayers of my friend.  Completely connected and dependent upon each other’s involvement, to work all those things to our good – and to His Glory.

Every time I think back over our story, I am humbled.  It reminds me to keep praying and to keep believing.  It reminds me that God is not in our timeframe – which can make Him seem slow to us – but also of the fact that it this very “outside time” (omnipresent) that allows Him work all those things out.  It reminds me that I am not the only one He is doing this for, and that it is a LOT of working out!

Humbleness leads to thankfulness, and through them both, wisdom that in turns brings faith.

Being An Oak

There have been several times in my life where, in order to bring encouragement, I’ve been given a word from a fellow Christian declaring that God has made me an “oak of righteousness”. The phrase comes from Isaiah 61:3, though actually many translations refer to trees rather than specifically oaks of righteousness. The Message puts it beautifully in its context:

61 ^1-7 The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me
    because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
    heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
    pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
    a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies—
    and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
    give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
    a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them “Oaks of Righteousness”
    planted by God to display his glory.
They’ll rebuild the old ruins,
    raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They’ll start over on the ruined cities,
    take the rubble left behind and make it new.
You’ll hire outsiders to herd your flocks
    and foreigners to work your fields,
But you’ll have the title “Priests of God,”
    honored as ministers of our God.
You’ll feast on the bounty of nations,
    you’ll bask in their glory.
Because you got a double dose of trouble
    and more than your share of contempt,
Your inheritance in the land will be doubled
    and your joy go on forever.

Isiah 61:1-7 The Message

Earlier this week I had the cause to explain the word “deciduous” to my youngest son. A deciduous tree is one that loses its leaves every year. Unlike an evergreen tree that keeps its leaves all year around, through all the seasons, a deciduous tree’s leaves change colour in the autumn as they die and fall to the ground. The word originates from the Latin deciduus, from decidere which means to “fall down or off”.

During worship this morning at church I suddenly had a clear picture in my mind of an oak tree, standing in the midst of a field.

“An oak tree is deciduous” I heard. I must admit it took a moment for me to realise/believe/understand that it was Holy Spirit who was speaking.

“You are not called to be an evergreen”

With my eyes closed I saw the oak tree as it went through the changing seasons.

It began in the summer: the tree was green, glorious, vibrant, impressive.

Then the season began to change. The leaves changed colour, becoming a riot of golds, yellows and browns. I was reminded that autumn is my favourite season for that very reason.

“The leaves change colour as they die and fade” I heard. That caught me!

Then I saw the deep swathes of leaves becoming home for small creatures and insects. I saw the acorns dropping, becoming food to be stored for squirrels.

“Just like those leaves the dreams, plans, relationships and moments in your life that you feel have withered and died, which you mourn, are never wasted if you allow Father to use them to seed in to others. The pain you feel helps you to be able to comfort others, to understand. You have no idea just what a bountiful harvest comes from those things that ‘fall away’.

I then saw the tree, totally bare. The branches became covered in snow. It was stark. It was beautiful.

As the season again changed, the snow melted and I saw buds form.

New life. New hope. New beginnings.

“You do not need to feel a failure, because you believe as a Christian your life should be like an evergreen tree, unchanging despite the season. As your life moves through seasons, it is not your ‘leaves’ staying put that demonstrates My Truth, Grace and Mercy in your life. My unchanging Nature, your unfailing faith and trust in Me are the branches that stand out clear even in the depths of the winters of your life – in fact sometimes that is when people can ‘see’ Me in you the clearest.” I heard Father say.

“As long as you remain in Me, your true source, not only will you continue to grow, stand tall, be a constant presence for your family and in your community, and draw people to Me, but I promise you that I am using everything to your good and to My Glory”.

Maybe you are like me and need to hear that truth today.

Embrace your beauty as a deciduous oak of righteousness.

Please watch the video below as it is pretty darn close to the vision I saw!

One Small Step for Mankind..

Some things in life seem too big to change. Climate change is one of those.

Its taken humanity a long time to get to the place we are now, quite a while to realise the harm our activity has been causing the plant – and to be honest we don’t even agree on that – and no doubt will take a while for us to work out properly what to do about it and even longer to actually start to noticeably turn the juggernaut around.

We are urged however to accept that our individual choices and actions can make a difference. Just as arriving at this place was a culmination of a lot of actions, bringing about change will take the same individual team effort (as it were!)

Choosing to avoid plastic wherever possible, reusing and recycling, reducing energy consumption, all these little changes add up. “You can’t fix the climate on your own, but you can become part of a generation that does. Lasting and dramatic change comes from countless little shifts throughout society.” (Student Conservation Association)

That makes sense, right? You get that?

Cool.

So why, if you are a Christian, do you find it so hard to believe that about prayer?

Covid. International politics. Wars. Injustice. Climate change. Too big to pray about? I mean, what can YOUR prayer ACTUALLY change? Maybe you find it slightly ridiculous to do so, as if it makes it seem you think God will say “ah, finally, I was waiting for him to ask Me, now I will act”?!

What about if you and your household pray? What about if your home group all agrees to pray on the same subject tonight? What about if your church pauses this Sunday and prays for 10 minutes on a topic? What if a Christian organisation or denomination calls its people to pray at the same time each day on a topic? What about a national day of prayer? International?

If you don’t believe one person’s prayer will change things, how about 10? 100? A million? Billions? Not because we need to club together to persuade God to act but because we are in a battle (Ephesians 6:12), waging war against an enemy who comes to rob, steal and destroy (John 10:10). Our unity in prayer, in our stand against the enemy’s tactics, brings heaven to earth, makes things become more on earth, as it is in heaven.

I realised today that if I swap my plastic bag for a paper one, believing I’m part of the solution not the problem, but don’t believe my prayer matters, I am a fool and a hypocrite.

To pray is one small step for me, but part of a bigger move for my neighbourhood, my country, this earth.

By the way, I do actually believe that just one prayer – especially a persistent one – can change things both big and small. I am however aware that we often justify our lack of prayer over big issues because we don’t really believe that OUR particular prayer matters.

It is all a matter of perspective…

Jesus is dead.

The crowd look at His lifeless body on the cross.

Depending on how closely they followed Him – if they followed Him – or how well they thought they knew Him, they were thinking a variety of things:

“I thought he said he was the Son of God?!”

“So much for being a god…”

“Well I could have seen THAT coming!”

“There goes another one..”

“But… I BELIEVED him! I thought he was telling the truth?!”

“How did this happen?”

“What’s going on?!!”

“Why did this have to happen?”

“So what happens now?”

” But.. He was so convincing!!!”

“I don’t understand…”

“I don’t understand… what about those miracles? What about all the things we saw? How do you explain all that if he wasn’t who he said he was? Yet, if he WAS God… why is he now dead on that cross?”

“Its all over.”

“If he was fake, there really is no hope for us…”

The disciples and followers didn’t understand.  Jesus tried to warn them. Three times He told them He would die, but that He would be resurrected (Mark 8: 31, Mark 9:30-31, Mark 10:33-34).  And yet, on Friday, the world is a bleak place.  Hope has died and even those who remember what he said, don’t believe what he said.

Perspective changes everything.

Faced with the facts – he is dead – and standing in front of his body, on Friday, they have no hope.

The enemy always likes it when we lose hope.  When we focus on the past, on  unmet expectations, on loss and confusion.  He encourages us to feel sad, bitter, angry, hurt, and rejected.

When the unthinkable happens, when you lose that job, that house, that relationship, that loved one…  When promises fail to materialise and expectations aren’t met…

When you were SO SURE that you were right, that it was right and yet…

When you KNEW but then suddenly…

The enemy laughs at you.  He jeers at God. “Where is your God now then?! Why hasn’t he saved you?  Why hasn’t he helped you?  So much for being all knowing and all powerful!”

 

What a different picture on Sunday!  A total and utter reversal of the situation.  The opposite emotions.

HE IS ALIVE!  HE HAS RISEN – JUST AS HE SAID HE WOULD!!!!

The disciples can’t quite believe it but, faced with the facts, standing in front of His LIVING body, on Sunday, hope burst out. Faith rises.  He is ALIVE and so is their hope.

As Christians living after the day of resurrection, it is easy to judge the disciples and His followers.  It is easy to read the Scriptures and say “but they should have known”. It is easy to think that, after all the miracles they had seen, and all that He had taught them, they should have stood firm and believed and, instead of losing hope, waited expectantly – excitedly.

Ask yourself a question and, if you can bare it, answer it truthfully:

Are you any different?

Do you have any testimony of how God has helped you?  Brought you through a crisis? Healed you in some way?  However big or small, have you seen the goodness of God at any point in your life?  What about those around you?  Have you heard the testimonies of others?  Have you read books filled with stories of the miraculous?

Have you listened to sermons?  Downloaded that podcast?  Watched that Bethel live stream?

Have you read your Bible?

When crisis comes, when you are hurt, confused, terrified… do you wait expectantly and excitedly for the day of resurrection?  Or do you stand there and gaze at your “disaster” and think to yourself “but I thought He said it was going to be ok? That I was blessed?  Healed? Whole?”

I don’t know about you but for myself, I more often than not stand in the sandals of the disciples on a Friday rather than Sunday.  My perspective is that of the day of failure, not the day of restoration.

Scripture promises us restoration and teaches us to hope.  Faith is the substance of things unseen.  Faith is Sunday when it is only Friday.

Do you have faith today?

 

 

Free Versus Paid

Our church is going through a season of refocusing on discipleship.  Having experienced (and continuing to experience) growth in numbers as a body, it is important that the church has fresh teaching on what discipleship means – both for those who are new in the faith and for those maybe who have been knocking around on the edges for a while without fully grasping it.  Of course it also serves as a reminder and an encouragement to those who are already pressing on with their journey.

I often feel that the modern church way of separating a decision for Christ (such as after an altar call at the end of a service) with the discipleship process not only moves away from the clear New Testament model (decision, declaration, repentance, baptism in water, and an immediate conscious change or following of “The Way”) but also makes it harder for us.

For many, that point of decision involves on some level a recognition that there is more to life than this, that there is another way, that Someone can make a better job of guiding your life than you!  At that point we make some sort of surrender.  That is the point at which we need to clearly install Christ as not just our Saviour but our Lord.

Lordship suggests authority, ownership, submission, obedience… not words that are sexy in today’s society.  Heck they aren’t even considered “politically correct” in hardly any circumstance anymore!  Imagine your boss or company using those words.  Or your partner. The government…

We don’t like submitting.  We don’t like surrendering.  If we did it would make the whole discipleship process so much easier!

We like free things, but we don’t like having to pay for things.

Imagine some new game, some new app, coming out on the iPhone or Facebook.  A “free” game.

Suddenly everyone is playing it!  You spend all your free time (and probably a lot of time when you should be doing something else) playing it.  You realise you are a little obsessed.

Three months down the line out of say a hundred people who started playing that free game, what has happened?

Probably half of them or more are no longer playing it.  The reasons will vary.  Some got bored quickly.  They always bore quickly.  Once the novelty wears off, once it isn’t new and they aren’t the first or the only ones playing it, they aren’t interested anymore.

Some of them will have quickly realised that, despite being a free game, in order to really make progress you actually need to make “in app purchases”.  The experience, the free experience, is great but… there is so much more you can see the game can do.  But it will cost.  Some won’t pay.

Some of them will have realised that actually they didn’t really like the game as much as they thought they would.

What of those still playing?

Most of them are probably still playing the free version.  Many will have realised by then there is more to the game than the free experience, but they don’t want to pay or don’t think they can afford to pay.   But they are perfectly happy to just keep playing the free version.

Some will be paying.  Some will be progressing on through the levels and finding each level more involved than the previous one.  It keeps drawing them in and on further.  Just as they think they must be about to finish the game, a new level is unlocked!

 “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8 MEV)

Everything we have is the gift of God.  It came to us freely.  It cost God dearly but it hasn’t cost us anything.  We receive it for free.

Hebrews 10: 38 says “Now the just shall live by faith”.  We all have faith to sustain us and the measure of faith given to us all is the same (Romans 12:3, 2 Peter 1:1).

It is the same, and it is enough! Matthew 17:20 tells us that even the tiniest measure of that faith can pluck up a mountain and cast it in to the sea.

At salvation we receive freely and we all receive the same.

Days, weeks, months, years down the line however… where are we?  Out of 100 salvation commitments what do those lives look like now?

Like in the game analogy (imperfect of course, but it does help make some points I feel) some people will have given up.  Their faith is like all those unused apps on our phones, those no longer played games.

The reasons for giving up will be varied.

Many will have decided that the “cost” of continuing was too great.  Discipleship, developing the mind of Christ, moving forward further and deeper with God, costs us.  It costs us pride.  It requires submission.  It takes time.  It calls for sacrifice.  It humbles us.

Not things any of us like doing if we are honest (or is it just me?).

If that doesn’t make someone quit entirely then at the very least it may stop them from pressing in.  They sit at the back of church (spiritually if not physically speaking), taking all the “free” stuff but never paying out.  Receiving not giving.

They look at the ones up the front who are leading, or the people coming up to share testimonies of blessing, healing, answers to prayers, and they think “its all right for them” without connecting the dots between the cost and the benefit, the sowing and the reaping…

Christ promises us so much more than some game!  Life and life abundant are the rewards for the cost of discipleship.  So don’t be satisfied with the free version – press on for the next level.

Remember we all start with the same – and it is ENOUGH so we have no excuse – but there is so very very much more to be had.  I don’t know about you, but I’m determined – and I’m determining – to reach for the next level and to be willing to pay whatever it costs.

The Pain of Stretching

As I snatched ten minutes quiet this morning in my favourite spot, I was thinking about a conflict between what I’ve been seeking from God, and what I’m willing to accept from God.

On the one hand, for over a year now I’ve been asking God daily to take me deeper, to reveal to me who He created me to be, to guide me into my destiny, His Plan and Purpose for my life, to fulfill my hopes and dreams.

On the other hand I’m well aware that I don’t even have the courage to pray a prayer each morning that says “OK who do you want me to talk to today?” or to ask “what opportunities do you want me to take?” because I know if I pray those sorts of prayers, God will actually answer them and provide such an opportunity.

It has taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise those two attitudes are directly in opposition to each other..

As I thought this through I felt God ask “what are you afraid of?”

The answer of course is failure.

God’s response was “Don’t you think that I know you?”

I didn’t have a response to that.

Instead (slightly petulantly) I thought “but the thing is, stretching is painful!”

Immediately I thought of childbirth.  You know, if you genuinely really understood in advance, as a woman, exactly how much it was going to hurt (especially a natural childbirth), really could understand, you would be much less likely to chose to go through it!  Because stretching hurts!

Even as I thought that, I heard God’s response “So why, having gone through that once, did you chose to go through it again then? Knowing the second time how much it ‘really’ hurt?”

Good question! Why does any woman have a second child?!  I guess because although you know it is going to hurt you now know you survived it once, the pain ends (eventually!) and you now know the reward is worth it.

At which point there was a sense of God saying “Uhuh. I’ll wait for you to catch up and realise what you’ve just said…”

The stretching may hurt, but you survive, and not only survive but find the rewards are great.  You  realize that actually the stretching and that hurt wasn’t as bad – or rather it wasn’t as significant as you thought it would be in the grand scheme of things.

The pain of childbirth, viewed now as a mother of four (the oldest of whom is 22), isn’t any less.  The pain of those births hasn’t diminished – they’re still the worst thing I’ve ever been through – however it doesn’t seem as important afterwards.  It wasn’t a barrier to doing it again.  From the perspective of having seen the rewards, the fruit, the pain doesn’t seem to be as much of an issue as it may be felt at the time.

I felt God reflecting that back to me, over my fears of being stretched in order to be who He calls me to be, who He made me to be, over stepping out in faith, leaning in to Him.  A fear that stopped me praying dangerous prayers because I know the answers may “hurt”.

So this is where I am.  Realising the truth that even if stepping out and praying those prayers may mean I get “hurt” that “pain” will not, in the grand scheme of things, matter. He promises me only good.  He promises that the rewards will be greater and the fruit sweeter than any discomfort I experience as I allow Him to stretch me.

Just for the sake of keeping it real, I still haven’t prayed a truly dangerous prayer yet. But it won’t be long…

A Childlike Faith

Children, especially young children, don’t get a say in what happens to them or around them.

A baby may express its desires (food, comfort, changing etc) but the when and the how of what happens in response to that is out of their hands.

A toddler is dressed by its parent. The parent chooses the food they want the child to eat. The parent decides to go out/stay in. Visiting friends, shopping, holidays – all decided by the parent.

A young child may get up by themselves in the morning, and get dressed. But the clothes were laid out by the parent the night before, and the child is told what is an acceptable time to get up (ignore the points where a child challenges these things – just bear with me here for the sake of a serious point).

By the time they are, say, 11, the child is choosing what to wear – but the clothes have still been bought by the parent. Even if the child gets taken to “chose” the clothes that are bought, it is still within parameters set by the parent.

What school to go to? Where to go on holiday? Moving house? Visiting relatives? All the sort of things that are still outside of the child’s control.

As we grow up, our involvement in the decisions that affect us grows. We learn consequences. We learn decision making.

When we are old enough to get our first paper round/Saturday job, we have money that we have a right to spend pretty much how we want.

By the time we reach 18, and certainly when we finally leave home, we are fully in charge of the choices we make. Even if circumstances remain outside our control (the flat tyre, the difficult boss, unrequited love) we are aware of the ability to chose how to react to them, and what steps to take in response to them.

This is how it should be. This is independence. This is maturity.

Christian maturity however is (like most things in the Kingdom of Heaven) completely back to front.

From the moment we are “born again” we start a new life. A new journey. However, unlike our physical journey and life progression, this is all about losing our independence.

Bear with me here.

Jesus said “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 18:3)

Remember the child who is dependent on the parent?

Each morning, from a very young age, my boys would ask “what are we doing today?” Even as teenagers and young adults, they still come to us (only now it is last thing at night!) and ask “what’s the plan for tomorrow?”

When they ask this, they aren’t asking about the big things. They don’t want a 6 month or 5 year plan. This isn’t a philosophical question. No, they are asking about the plans we have made for the day so they know how they will affect them.

My 10 year old knows he will have clothes to wear each day and he knows they will be cleaned when they get dirty. He knows there will be food in the kitchen and a hot meal prepared for his dinner. He knows the bills are being paid which means there are lights, heat, water and (because he is a modern 10 year old) internet connection!

He doesn’t fret about those things.

When he asks me in the morning what the plans are, he wants to know if anything different is happening. Anything exciting. Anything that will give a structure to the day, give him focus.  He has an expectation that I will take care of the big stuff, he just needs to know about the day to day stuff.  That day.  Today.

When you give your life to Jesus, and you are born again, the single hardest fundamental thing you are likely to spend the rest of your journey grappling with is losing your independence. Becoming child like.

Surrender.

Not my will but Your’s Lord. Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done. Not my way but Yours. Not my plans but Yours. Not my righteousness but Yours.

Slowly but surely you need to learn how to give up the need to know, to be in control, in charge.

Doesn’t that sound tough? Weak? Are you feeling threatened and argumentative in response to reading this idea or challenged? I know I felt genuinely stunned by the picture God gave me earlier this week in response to some serious (and right motivated) prayer time over issues to do with our future.

There is a lot of stuff going on in our lives and the lives of those around us in the church that is making things seem “out of control”. There is a lot I currently don’t understand! A lot of seemingly unanswered prayers. In some cases, we seem to have had the completely opposite answer to the one we were seeking!

It’s tough. I don’t like it.

It seems right and correct to “seek His Will” for our lives, but sometimes we misuse this “seek ye first” attitude and, if we are truthful, it becomes an excuse to justify our constant drive to KNOW, to understand, to control.

That was what hit me – like a spiritual truck – when once more I cried out to God “Why?! What is going on?!”

I have to tell you, I did not like the picture I received.

But it made sense. Total sense. I have to abandon myself to Him. Surrender all. How often do we sing those words in church on a Sunday or listening to worship in the car? “You can have it all Lord!”

Really?

I challenge you to become more childlike this week. Go to your heavenly Dad in the morning and thank Him for the new mercies of the day. Be thankful for the clothes set out for you. For the food provided. For the material comforts around you.

Acknowledge that He pays the bills. I don’t just mean the obvious big one, THE price He paid for us, but also I recognise that the financial provision in my life – job or benefits – ultimately come from Him.

Chose to live this week as if you truly believe He has charge of the big things. He has a Plan. He has a 6 month, 5 year, 50 year Plan for you and all of His creation. He knows the beginning from the end and He can work ALL things together for our good – if we let Him, if we leave the big stuff to Him.

Ask each morning “what’s the plan for today?” Who does He want you to talk to? Where does He want to take you? Is there anything exciting on the cards?! Be expectant of the good Father has for you.

Don’t sweat the big stuff. Focus on the small things. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

This isn’t an unhealthy dependence. This is truly living.

Can I ask one more thing? Can you pray for me? You see, I’m trying to respond to what God has shown me, and I am purposing this week (surely I can manage one week?!) to be more childlike. However I am aware of my flesh rebelling against the very idea. I am a list maker. A planner. Organised. I like to be in control (oh BOY do I like to be in control). I like to be prepared.

At the moment I am none of those things and apparently that is how it is meant to be!

Even as I write those words though, Holy Spirit is whispering in my ear, reminding me that I CAN be prepared. That it is still ok to be organised. But, His ways are not mine. I can be prepared by reading His Word. By listening to Him. By trusting. I can be in control by subjecting my will to my spirit – which is partnered with His.

Guess you’ve been praying already? 🙂

How Much Spirit Do You Have?

Language often gets in the way of understanding.

We talk about being filled with Holy Spirit. We sing “Spirit break out”. We pray “fall afresh”. We “come in to His Presence”. We ask for more of His Presence. We seek it.

The language suggests something that we can have more or less of, something outside of us, something out of reach.

The truth is, from the moment we surrendered to Christ, His Spirit came to live within us, our newly created (born again) righteous spirit united with His. That is the same – that is EQUAL – in all of us.

We are body, soul (mind, will and emotions) and spirit.

We all have a body. They may look different, they may work differently, but we all have one.

We all have a body (we are equal in that fact) but someone may become an athlete, or work out at the gym, and become stronger and fitter. They start with more or less the same muscular, vascular, skeletal system as me but theirs sure ends up looking different to mine – because of what they learn to do with it. They grow new muscle. Blood vessels can enlarge or even grow. Bone density can increase. The body can be remodelled.

We all have a mind. Generally speaking, they are the same. Some may seem to function better than others, and weigh slightly differently on the mortician’s scales, but we each have one.

We all have a mind but someone can train theirs. Grow it. Make new synaptic connections. Study. Increase their knowledge. They seem “brainier” than me. Cleverer. We talk about someone having a sharp mind.

We all have a spirit. When we are born again, this spirit is made new. A new one is given to us, we are spiritually a new creation, and Holy Spirit can unite with this righteous spirit we now have.

We all have a spirit. As born again Christians we have a righteous spirit. Equal to each other. So how come some people seem more spiritual? Like the gym going person, or the clever person, some people learn to make more of it, do more with it, Whilst that doesn’t change the fact that we still only have one, the same as each other, that effort they apply means they have become more spiritual, more in tune, more aware – mature in their faith.

It isn’t my spirit that enlarges in me but the old nature that recedes. I can learn to subject my body and soul to my spirit. I can make more room. Like a goldfish in a tank, my spirit will “grow” (develop) to match the size of the restrictions I place on it. A fish with better quality water and a larger tank, will grow bigger than one in poor water and a small fish bowl.

We need to focus on the quality of the “water” and size of the “bowl” in order to allow our spirit to grow. Immersing ourselves in the things of God – Scripture, prayer, worship – provide a better quality environment for our spirit. Enlarging the space means making actual time for God, withdrawing like Jesus did, giving opportunity for Him to speak, to teach, to fellowship with us. When we do these things, we feel stronger, more spiritual, maturer in Christ, because our spirit has grown in strength and is exerting more authority over the weaker body and soul.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, through His Spirit He gave us for that purpose. Nothing is impossible. We have everything we need.

When it doesn’t feel like it, when those Scriptural truths look like a lie in the light of our day to day life and experience, it is the same as when I watch the Olympics and think “I couldn’t do that!”.  Actually, I “could”.  I have all that I need to get started – a body! The drive, the determination, the dedication, the practice, the progression, the strengthening… that is what needs to be added to make an Olympian.

I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). I have the Spirit of God (1 Corinthians 2: 12). The same power that conquered the grave lives in me (Romans 8:11).

What I do with it is up to me.